• Abuser makes excuses and minimizes what he/she did
• Abuser may blame the victim for having caused the incident
• Abuser may say the incident was not as bad as the victim claims
• Promise made during the “Honeymoon” Phase may be met
Honeymoon or commonly known as “Calm Phase”
• Abuser may apologize and promise it will never happen again
• Abuser says that he loves the victim
• Abuser may give gifts
• Victim feels hopeful that the abuse is over
• Abuser shows increasing anger
• There is a breakdown of communication
• Victim feels the need to keep the abuser calm
• Victim feels like they’re “walking on egg shells”
Any type of abuse occurs
The length of time for each stage in this cycle can vary from one abusive relationship to another.
In an abusive relationship the cycle can happen hundreds of times.
The cycle can take anywhere from a few hours to a year or more to complete.
The violence usually gets worse over time.
The honeymoon phase, then the denial phase will eventually disappear leaving only a cycle between tension building and incident.
It is important to remember not all intimate partner violence fit the cycle.